Categories: Divorce Mediation

Just a Cup of Coffee

Just so you know, the divorce process is set up by the state with statutes, procedures, rules, case law, courts, and judges. They are all involved when you file for a divorce and start the litigation process. The work flow from this list is long and costly. Every single argument is decided by a “referee”/judge at the end of the case. Both sides pay the attorneys to bring the facts to the judge in a very formal legal court process. Attorneys cannot just bring your case to a judge over a cup of coffee. But forget all this….if you want to go through mediation, you can do it over a cup of coffee. How is that possible? Because that is how mediation is set up. You and your spouse both talk to the mediator and s/he helps you come to agreements. Kind of like a parent helping 2 kids who both want the same toy. I get that it is a lot more complicated than that but it is the general idea. There are laws about how who gets what but those rules can be flexible in a mediation. For instance: two parties fight over the house and IRA….a judge will split each in half and award each spouse half. What if the mediator finds out one spouse wants the house, the other wants only the IRA…a mediator can actually then negotiate that deal. A judge cannot. It is that simple. And all over a cup of coffee.

Cindy Best

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