Dear Angelina: I do not know your life, you, your kids, or Brad. I don’t know your pleadings, your attorney, your judge, or custody law in California. But I do know some things after helping over a thousand families in the past 10 or so years going through divorce and custody issues. And I hope you reconsider your strategy in your divorce. Here it goes; things can remain private. When you hurt Brad, you hurt your children. Brad needs to be involved in their lives. If a parent needs assistance to be a better parent, it can be agreed upon and kept private. There are no do overs for your children’s childhood. It is hard to be a kid in the middle of a divorce. Attorneys do not deal with all the collateral damage they might create. You and Brad will deal with your children the rest of your lives, your attorneys will not. The more conflict that attorneys create, the more they get paid. If a parent is unfit, it does not make your case better to make it public. Children should always come first. Counseling helps with the emotional terrain of divorce, litigation does not. Mediation is a better way to help families. Privacy helps families heal. Mediation helps families heal. Your children are first. You don’t need to “teach” your children about the other parent. Good luck in 2017.